Hey Crookeds,

I hope episode 17 led you here – and if not – I hope this blog posts takes you there. This episode was the most difficult to record to date because the over-thinker in me, couldn’t think at all. Strange. Or was it?  I committed to posting bi-weekly, and as that Monday neared, the pressure raced behind.. I grew accustomed to sorting through various topics of discuss before episodes (spoiled), but this time, the universe, was like…nah. Before I placed on my big boy trunks and mounted the downward spiral, I had to remind myself that, “Nothing happens without reason.” Soon after, I received a message that I needed to hear, “Stop thinking and feel your way through.” And so…I did. Trust God and the universe folks!

Episode 17 starts with an intro piece titled ,“The Surplus”

I vividly remember the sound of the overflow
I poured everything
You sipped.
You slurped.
I was pleased because you were content.

Love is blind and hindsight is 2020
You were never thirsty.
You held me because you despised the feel of your hands empty.
You tasted me because I was there.

You left me feeling forgotten
like the words I should have written at 3 a.m.
but didn’t
because I believed they were so powerful
I would remember them first thing in the morn.

Two strangers, once familiar,
responsibly, living in the house love built.
I’ll move into every room
before walking out that door
but what do you do
when the one you were once certain about,
is no longer certain about me.  

After heartbreak
you will need to forgive.
You will need to make peace.
Completing this is as difficult
as it is necessary
but there is a future
waiting to embrace your arrival.
So when I ask
that you forgive and make peace
please do not get the message confused.
I was not talking about an ex,
I was talking about you.

— Heal

If I had to compile a list of my favorite lines, this would make my top 15:
“You left me feeling forgotten like the words I should have written at 3 a.m., but didn’t, because I believed they were so powerful, I would remember them first thing in the morn.”

Those who forget their dreams in the morning know this struggle!

The Surplus, is a reflection piece breaking down the phases that led to their break up.

“I vividly remember the sound of the overflow”
was a metaphor for pouring into a partner that unequipped with the capacity to hold you wholly to the point where your surplus hits the floor.

Did they really care?
“You were never thirsty. You held me because you despised the feel of your hands empty. You tasted me because I was there.”
Was I the one to love forever? or right now? hmmm

This piece was unique because while continuing to wear the reflective lens, I jumped into the post break-up phase and touched on “forgiveness”. Too often we struggle to forgive ex-lovers and fail to forgive ourselves for choosing and loving them.

— Le Sigh

After the Podcast Intro by @stef_raymond (Support this great producer), we jump straight into another piece.

This episode had NO AGENDA…JUST VIBES

I want to disappear. Unassisted by fairytale winds, wishes  or sailboats. I want to run, and it must be alone- to a place I have no recollection of. The purpose is not to avoid anyone, escape a miserable reality, or cope with the stresses of life, because that is a given and I will always be strong enough to deal.
I want to get away for a few. I will be right back, in a few moments, minutes, days at most.
I need to disappear, to listen out for that familiar voice to give me direction, as I lose myself along the journey’s pathway. I am not worried about the destination. When I get there, I have to find me, because I forget, too often, for others, and if I continue doing so, I will no longer remember
to come here, to me.

So often, I serve without remembering that I need to eat. This piece speaks to the point when your tank is empty and you want to disappear because you can easily lose yourself being responsible for others. It is not a forever escape, but enough time, for me to memorize myself…again.

Then we transitioned into Success Rights and I shared my interpretation of teachings from speakers such as Zig Ziglar, Earl Nightengale and more. I even discuss FAITH. I’m on a spiritual journey. Please bear with me. =) The universe brought me here.

We discussed success and tips to being successful.

Success isn’t measured by what you do. Success is measured by what you do compared to what you could have done. Zig Ziglar

We were born to win. Many people have been conditioned to lose.

• It is  just as difficult to reach a destination you don’t have as it to return from a place you have never been.
• If you do not have daily objectives, you qualify as a dreamer, not a doer
• Your goals must be specific. Your goals must be specific and not vague and general. If you want to reach your goal, you have to see it, know how it looks and feel in your mind. Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you are right.

Remember “Success leaves crumbs!!!” “If you follow the recipe, you will see the dish.”

Even though this blog is lengthy (my opinion). There was so much more to absorb. If you listened, listen again. 😉 If you haven’t, what are you waiting for? (Answer after you listen) 😉

Oh yeah, shout out to Jeremiah for receiving roses this week. You earned it! =)

Stay Crooked!

J. Wesley